Archive | December, 2009

Announcing the Josie Claus contest winners!

30 Dec

Thank you to everyone who entered by free blu-ray porn giveaway!

I have picked my 5 winners are here they are:

  • Gen – cause she’s awesome and i owe her a ton of stuff anyways
  • Chriscynical – he is a poet and i didn’t even know it ;)
  • Tom – for his cute “artwork” complete with a giraffe eating my stitched up finger!
  • Bj Bumgarner – for his drive and determination, as he left a comment every single day until the contest was over.
  • Keith – for offering to buy me sme hello kitty goodies (hint hint, i added a new pair of panties to my wishlist)
  • And Jre, our loser for posting such an uncreative and boring comment, will be receiving some lame porn in the mail to match his lame comment. I’ve had this DVD for over a year now and have been trying to get rid of it. So congratulations, jre.

Sorry to every who entered but didn’t win. I wish I had more porn to give you. Stay posi! I will be holding some more contests in the future! And winners, please check your email.

Josie Claus’ Free Porn Giveaway Bonanza!

15 Dec

I have a big stack of really awesome Digital Playground porn on Blu-Ray disc that has been sitting on my desk for months now. I don’t have a Blu-Ray player so the movies have just been collecting dust and acting as paperweights. But not anymore! In the spirit of the season I have decided to give them all away to you guys, my loyal fans and readers!

Picture 474

So here’ s the deal… from now until christmas eve you can enter to win 1 free blu-ray porno by leaving a comment on this here blog entry. I will be picking my 5 favorite comments as winners, and my least favorite will win a free porno as well, but I don’t know if the “winner” will enjoy it as much as a great Digital Playground Blu-Ray. The contest is only open to commenters in the USA (I think shipping overseas may be too expensive and tricky) and you can “enter” as many times as you want. Be creative! Tell me a story, draw me a picture, whatever!  …and I will admit that flattery and bribes will get you pretty far in this competition. Good luck!

Ho Ho Ho!

Picture 487

Josie Jacob’s Gift Ideas – #2 is Jew-Style

15 Dec

Tonight is the 5th night of Hanukkah and I’ve been a pretty terrible Jew so far. I haven’t even taken my menorah out of storage! Well in honor of the Festival of Lights here are my Hanukkah gift ideas…


Nothing will you more in the mood to <shtup than a super sexy Yarmukle Bra! Offered by, “the Yarmulkes themselves are imported from Israel and are individual works of art [and] available in three styles: Bat-mitzvah(S/M sizes), Boobooshka(L size) and Sports(M/L sizes).”


Josie Jacob’s Gift Ideas – Numero Uno:

14 Dec

How about a Hand silkscreened giant condom pillow with giant fabric condom!?

condom pillloow

condom pillow 2


“This pillow measures about 18″ by 17″ and both sides are lovingly hand-pulled silkscreens printed on white poplin fabric by yours truly. [...] There are two pockets- one on either side. The smaller one is used to hold actual condoms, and the larger one holds an oversized fabric condom. And it’s real stretchy too!”

Sure to be a conversation starter and a reminder to practice safe sex! Etsy user LittleElk makes these awesome giant-condom pillows in a variety of colors to match your bedroom (or family room?) decor by special order only so act fast if you want one.

Achoo! Sex and the Swine Flu

4 Dec

Everyone’s sort of freaked out about the whole “H1N1″ stuff…. My mom’s calling me asking me to go get the shot (no thanks…) and I get emails at work with attachments from the CDC on things like remembering to wash our hands more so we don’t have to use our sick days.

Even Cosmopolitan magazine, my favorite source for bad and hilarious “sex tips” has gotten into the game…



My own personal Swine Flu sex tip? Don’t have sex with a snotty sick person, or someone that hangs out with snotty sick people! And if you don’t heed my warning, at least use a really good toy cleaner afterward, like Pjur Medclean. Available as a spray or in handy wipes this amazing made in Germany (you know the Germans make good stuff) doesn’t just kill bacteria like other toy cleaners, it’s also anti-fungal and anti-viral, killing shit like Hep B and HIV on contact (and maybe swine flu too!?). Despite it’s microbe-ass-kickin’ powers, Pjur Medclean is safe for your body and for use on all toys.

spray wipes