Josie Jacobs

Last week I posted on twitter about a strange new product I had just gotten in at the porn shop where I work. I received more than a few @replies asking about it but I got really busy and anyways, it is hard to describe this thing in a mere 140 characters. The strange contraption in question is Pipedream Product’s “Fetish Fantasy Glide” and it is basically a spring loaded pogo-type stick with interchangeable dildos with which to fuck yourself. I did a little cursory research on the google machine for some more information and found this clip from the tv show “Talk Sex with Sue Johanson“. I am writing this blog at 2am and I think right now this adorable grandma and all around awesome lady can do a much better job explaining how the Fantasy Glide works better than I ever could.

I opened the Fantasy Glide up at work the other day to try and get a better idea of how the thing works and I’m still not really sure how I feel about it. I keep bouncing between. between “kind of interesting” and “kind of creepy” – I’m going to go with an equal mixture of both. What do you think?

Intrigued? The Fetish Fantasy Glide can be yours for a mere $117.57 over at sextoyfun.com.

Oh and p.s., I tried looking for a video of it in use to show you guys but only found one of a dude using it on his butt and I didn’t think most of you would want to see that. So if you happen to come across any other Fantasy Glide videos please put the link a comment.

Really… it does!  Didn’t anyone at Atlantis, a Portuguese company that specializes in religious glass and crystal art realize that this 9.5″ lead crystal “sculpture” looks less like the Virgin Mary and more like something you might pick up in a sex shop?

If you like mixing religion with your sex life, might I suggest Divine Interventions, a company that specializes in making body safe medical grade silicone toys (no lead here!) like the Baby Jesus Buttplug, Jackhammer Jesus,  and Virgin Mary Dildo, among others?

You may have recognized these toys from Burning Angel‘s classic horror-porn, The XXXorcist, starring Joanna Angel and Kylee Kross.

We sell these Tenga Eggs at my store. They are these little one time use male masturbators made by the Japanese (they are so crafty when it comes to sex toys) that are packaged in a way that is reminiscent of a Kinder Surprise – they both come with a prize inside, right!? Even though we have some “demo models” out on display for customers to poke and prod at I’m pretty sure that we’ve had to damage out more of these than we’ve actually sold due to people opening them up to figure out what the hell they actually are. I can understand the confusion… even after looking at one of these egg things out of the package myself I’m not really sure if these are a good idea or not.

So internet, what do you think? Would you stick your dick in this? Have you used these before? Was it any good? Inquiring minds (who don’t have a penis to test this thing out on) want to know!

And FYI: In case this post piqued your interest, Liberator.com sells these bad boys for $5.99 a pop in their “toys for men” section, which I think is the cheapest I’ve ever seen them for.

I love this Ikea commercial! Luckily I don’t have to worry about that happening as I don’t have kids, but now that we have a dog in the house I do have to be a bit more careful where I put my toys, especially silicone and jelly ones since they have textures very similar to puppy’s chew toys!

I started out storing my toys and DVDs  in a drawer underneath my bed but I quickly ran out of room so my goodies now are split up between the drawer and a vintage heart-shaped hat box I picked up on a trip to Louisville years ago. But I’m starting to run out of room again! My Hitachi Magic Wand (a gift from the ever-amazing Ryan Keely) has taken up residence in the little space between the mattress and the wall and I have a huge pile of toys, still in their boxes and waiting to be reviewed that don’t have a home yet, so it’s time to start shopping for more toy storage. Here are some of my top picks.

The Original Toibocks is really popular at my porn shop. It looks like a normal jewelry box to the naked eye but if you know the secret to open the hidden latch (hint: it’s magnet-powered) the top section lifts up revealing a ton of room to store toys as big as a rabbit vibe. I sell these a lot to people who are parents or who still live at home with their parents since you’d never even guess it was toy storage unless you were in the know!

The Devine Toy Box is another big hit at my store. They come in a variety of colors and patterns (a pink box with quilted hearts is the most popular one at the shop) and are lockable. While not as subtle as the Toibocks, the Devine boxes are cute enough to keep out on your bedside table and have enough room to store the basics – some small toys, lube, condoms and even a set of restraints.

This case by For Your Nymphomation is definitely up my alley – it has tons of room for lots and lots of toys and other fun stuff, pockets and straps to keep everything together and it’s covered in leopard fur goodness! I’m not trying to really hide the fact that I own toys (hell, I have the Under The Bed Restraint System by Sportsheets perpetually hanging down from my mattress for anyone to see) so I like that the case is kinda flashy but obviously someone trying to be a bit more discreet can order it in black, white, pink, or purple faux-leather.

Sorry I’ve been a bad blogger.

I needed to have a little break from the internet for a few weeks. I started my new job and decided to take some much needed time to myself to focus on work and my own personal stuff…

But I’m back now with lots of great ideas for the site – there will be a ton of new product reviews (I just became a “sexpert” with CalExotics and my friends at OhMiBod are sending me their newest toy, the freestyle), pictures my hot porn crushes, chats with Joanna Angel, and lots lots more. So make sure to keep checking back here to see all the new stuff.

P.S. I was in Daytona Beach for a wedding this weekend and passed a strip club called Biggins. LOLs. Would have taken a picture but somehow the LCD screen on my camera got busted during the drive up.